Vampires Everywhere! - Lost In The Shadows
Rating
RIYL
Abandon All ShipsAttack Attack!
Avenged Sevenfold
Release Date
04/13/2010
Label
Century MediaTracklist
1. Bury Me Alive2. Dear Eliza
3. Forever Forever
4. Immortal Love
5. The Embrace
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Good music nowadays is hard to come by. Every “scene” is completely over saturated with an awful imitation of what already exists. Look at it this way… you order a Jack and Coke, it comes to you with ice in it, that ice will soon melt away leaving a need for more ice to keep your drink cold. The more ice you add, the more diluted your drink gets. Eventually, all you are left with is some watered down version of what you thought was going to be your key to a good night. There are thousands of bands that are the ice to a once intoxicating music scene. One of the more recent examples is not only riding the coattails of other awful bands but also hopping on the vampire obsessed teen pop-culture train. Mixing the style of Avenged Sevenfold with Edward Cullen and the musical styling of Attack Attack! and Abandon All Ships, Vampires Everywhere! are definitely NOT what the doctor ordered to help heal the wounded knees of those praying for a musical revolution.
First, let’s address the fact that these guys may, in fact, have the corniest name ever. Okay… now that that’s out of the way, let’s get down to brass tacks. There is absolutely nothing unique or groundbreaking about Vampires Everywhere! Yet somehow they managed to land a deal with Century Media and released a five song EP titled Lost in the Shadows, courtesy of the label. Now this is a label which, by the way, houses some of the biggest names in metal and hardcore like Architects, Caliban, Ion Dissonance, Terror and Sick of it All. How these six Team Edward groupies got on such a renowned label is beyond me. This soon to be substitute for a clay pigeon opens up with “Bury Me Alive” which sounds like every typical screamo song ever released. All this track does is give you fair warning that there are rougher waters ahead. Oh wait, there’s more! Don’t worry all you kiddies who like to get down in the pit, around the three minute marker there is a BROOTAL breakdown where vocalist Michael Vampire exhibits his “finest” display of low growls.
The next two songs “Dear Eliza” and “Forever Forever” both follow the same formula as the first track: power chords, shitty screams, auto-tuned vocals, breakdown, shitty screams, auto-tuned vocals. Wait…did I just say auto-tuned vocals while discussing a screamo/metal/hardcore band?!?! That’s right people! Because with auto-tune, everyone’s a star! Track four, “Immortal Love,” seems to be the “single” off of this EP, seeing as how they made a video for it. Quite frankly, these guys have their heads so far up their bloodsucking asses that they didn’t even realize they picked the worst song off this steaming pile. Nothing about the track stands out from the others to justify it being single worthy.
During an interview, Michael Vampire stated the following, “…We wanted to create something that wouldn’t embarrass you with your windows down.” Dude, seriously… is this guy delusional? If my mother heard me listening to this album, she would probably disown me. If my friends caught me listening to this, they would beat my ass. Needless to say, this five track waste of time is not something you crank up on a warm summer day to try and impress the ladies. These guys and ICP should get together and discuss all their plans for being a gimmick band and making money off of it. I have to hand it to these guys, though, they are making money, which is a lot more than most bands can say. With all this being said, if you’re an avid shopper at Hot Topic and like crappy, tasteless music, then I strongly suggest you get yourself a copy of this album. However, if you’re the complete opposite, let’s all get together and discuss how we wish Blade was a non-fictional character.
--Bill Lohr
Comments
Lehigh Valley, PA
I don't think I would even tell people to go listen to these guys to see if my review is accurate or not. I wouldn't wish a listening party of this album upon my biggest enemy.
New York
You know that this is just going to compel me to give them a try.
"If this is the state of my art,
Then I secede."
Lehigh Valley, PA
Ahaha. Good luck dude!
Minnesota
And for my next trick, I shall make Bill explode....
...abracadabra, and the magic words... "Vampires Everywhere > Iron Maiden"
Poof! There went Bill!
Find me EVERYWHERE:
New York
I loved your Jack and Coke metaphor by the way. Very clever. Just listened to "Immortal Love." Those were four wasted minutes of my life that I cannot get back... You had to sit through the whole EP. You = My sympathy.
"If this is the state of my art,
Then I secede."
Lehigh Valley, PA
Dude, now you're just talkin like a crazy person. Not liking Maiden is one thing, sayin that this shitty effin band is better than them makes you certifiable.
San Diego, CA
Drink your Jack and Coke faster then Billy boy!
Too old to bother, too young to give a shit.
Minneapolis, MN
What really gets me about this band is that Century Media signed them. Who do they think they are Trustkill or Victory?
Blog | Twitter | Flickr
Lehigh Valley, PA
Century REALLY messed up on this one. I can't believe a label with bands on their roster like they have would sign a shit band like this
Dubuque
It's all about the benjamins.
Facebook / MySpace
View Chris Conlan's profile on LinkedIn
San Diego, CA
I dunno, I'm not surprised. Century actually kinda sucks. I can count on one hand the bands they have signed that I like.
Too old to bother, too young to give a shit.
Sunshine Coast, Australia
the members names are the worst thing about this band, and their fucking bio picture
"If you want something done right, get a fucking Australian band to do it" - Chris Cheney
New York
The lead singer has a pair of chops, doesn't he? I can't take my eyes off them.
"If this is the state of my art,
Then I secede."
Wilmington DE
This stuff is soo orignal and brootal! You guys are all haters and can't see real talent even when it is blowing on your nutsack. These guys also have some of the best hair in the biz.
Listening to:
Tides of Man
Oceansize
The Contortionist
We are the City
Periphery
Lehigh Valley, PA
The fact that your humor gave it 5 stars and jacked the rating to a 2 makes this review alllllllllllllllllllll worth it to me.