Vampires Everywhere! - Hellbound and Heartless
Rating
RIYL
Marilyn MansonSelf-mutilation
Hot Topic
Hating yourself
Release Date
06/19/2012
Tracklist
01 – I02 – I Can’t Breathe
03 – Beauty Queen
04 – Drug of Choice
05 – II
06 – Star of 666
07 – Kiss of Death
08 – Rape Me (Nirvana cover)
09 – Plastic
10 – III
11 – Unholy Eyes
12 – Social Suicide
13 – IV
14 – Anti Hate
15 – Hell on Earth
16 – My Blood Is Yours (Amanda’s Song)
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Some days I wonder what it must be like to be a poor, depressed, unliked teenager in today's high school environment. I'm assuming it must be light years worse than when I was in high school (which is the late 90's if you're curious). No doubt when Rachel won't talk to Billy because he's weird it must be so much tougher on Billy today than 15 years ago, and when you don't get a date to the prom it must be even more devastating than it used to be. At least I'm assuming things must be worse based solely on the popularity of bullshit bands like Vampires Everywhere being popular with the teenage, depressed, melodramatic, sad crowd. I can't imagine how bad things must be getting that kids would actually choose to lock themselves in their room, cover themselves in faux-goth makeup, and listen to this contrived Marilyn Manson rip-off crap.
The more I listen to this album, the more I imagine this is the soundtrack that spoiled suburban kids probably use to feel "edgy" or to piss off their anesthesiologist mom and VP of sales dad while complaining about how hard they have it living in a gated community where they have nothing better to do than listen to Hellbound and Heartless in their room on their parents' hand-me-down "old" Bose stereo. It doesn't go nearly loud enough to play crystal clearly through the door of his own private bathroom. Life is so hard!
Even disconnecting myself from that imagery, I can't disconnect from the fact that this is nothing more than a deliberate, cheap, rip-off of what Marilyn Manson did 15 years ago. The pseudo-satanic song titles and anti-government, anti-cool-kids, anti-popularity, anti-anything lyrics? Done better. The industrialized metal riffs? Done twice as good before the members of this band could even contemplate playing instruments. Hell, if you can listen to "Kiss of Death" once through and tell me it's not 100% derivative of Manson (if not outright copied), I will slap you in the face, kick you in shins and call you a filthy liar.
Vampires Everywhere steal absolutely everything from the Manson playbook; this includes their look (which is as pathetic as it is contrived) as well as going for a industrial-goth cover song to include on their album. In this case, they rape "Rape Me" from Nirvana. Do we need to keep going? If you don't get the picture by now that you'd be doing yourself a disservice by even thinking about turning your ear towards this band then, frankly, you must have a truly horrible life and I honestly feel sorry for you.
Ok… one last appeal to anyone on the fence, especially if you're a teenager with a still developing musical palette… I'm going to be as blunt as I can…
This. Album. Is. Awful.
Is that clear enough? I really hope so. If not, I fear for today's youth.
--Rick Gebhardt
Comments
West Haven, CT
I liked Marilyn Manson as a teenager. I was full of angst and he turned me onto some free thinking. With that said, these guys are mind vomit. This isn't as bad as Brokencyde but they're a close second.
Fuckings Greatest Hits: 2012 | 2011 | 2010 | 2009 | 2008
Wales
Those chicks are HOT! Oh, wait...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLF9Cm4E15E
I GO TO WORK
Love these reviews. Sorry you had to listen to this album.
Salt Lake City, UT
Why bother reviewing tripe like this? As it stands, we have to wait 2-3 days [understandably] for new reviews to be put up, and we all like reading the Decoy staff reviews but after waiting and then seeing this... really? Do you hate us that much? Do you hate yourself that much? Some bands you know we're ALL going to loathe, you should just avoid those.
http://www.sonnambulanaut.com/
^ Blogthing.
Salt Lake City, UT
Go review the new Ihsahn "Eremita" -- it's mindblowingly good.
http://www.sonnambulanaut.com/
^ Blogthing.
Minnesota
Short answer, because Daniel loves reviews like this.
Longer answer, because we get albums submitted from labels/PR and in order to maintain relationships with them, we try to review albums they submit from time to time. That sometimes means listening to garbage like this.
In response to having to wait for reviews to be posted... there's a myriad of reasons we schedule things to be put up. At times I need to hold things in my queue to cover weeks where we get zero new submissions from staff. Instead of having an entire dead week, I can post non-high-profile reviews/content I've got saved up. For high profile releases, those usually get put right to the front of the queue when I receive them, so in some cases there is no wait.
Lastly, if all we did was sit around, give 4 and 5 star reviews to everything, then things get old. I know I've personally given up on a few sites because all they do is wank off over everything they review.
Find me EVERYWHERE:
Minnesota
Also....
Find me EVERYWHERE:
El Paso, TX
Fun review, this shit is just laughable.
Columbus, OH
Completely agree. While I love posting 3.5-4.5 reviews on things I enjoy and want other people to get into, it's much more fun to read negative reviews. There are only so many ways you can say, "This is awesome." There are, however, many more magnificent negative adjectives. We have a resident one of those here at Decoy :)
Currently Listening To:
Lo!- Monstrorum Historia
HeavyArms- Burning Crowds
Shining- One One One
Columbus, OH
Also, I was able to "get through" one song on this album, and I'm not sure a half-star rating is low enough.
Currently Listening To:
Lo!- Monstrorum Historia
HeavyArms- Burning Crowds
Shining- One One One
Sunshine Coast, Australia
That pun was fucking sensational. I agree about negative reviews being more fun though - William Control's Noir review was one of the most fun I ever wrote.
"If you want something done right, get a fucking Australian band to do it" - Chris Cheney
Salt Lake City, UT
I'd rather read a review on something the general audience of Decoy would enjoy.
http://www.sonnambulanaut.com/
^ Blogthing.
Minnesota
Who knows, maybe there are some contingent of Decoy readers that might actually be interested in this......
Find me EVERYWHERE:
Khmm, I think the last few Manson records were actually even less exciting than this one... :)
Salt Lake City, UT
ZAC AND POWELL ARE NOT LARGE ENOUGH TO BE A CONTIGENT.
http://www.sonnambulanaut.com/
^ Blogthing.
Sunshine Coast, Australia
Please, my name is Sandy. And seeing as you just coined the term 'contigent' I think myself and Zach could totally be the definition of that word if it pleases you.
"If you want something done right, get a fucking Australian band to do it" - Chris Cheney
Salt Lake City, UT
i dunno about coining it but my browser red lined what I had, which is what Rick had.
http://www.sonnambulanaut.com/
^ Blogthing.
Sunshine Coast, Australia
We have a cave troll.
"If you want something done right, get a fucking Australian band to do it" - Chris Cheney
Minnesota
You forgot the "n".
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/contingent
Need some?
Find me EVERYWHERE:
Salt Lake City, UT
please and thanks
http://www.sonnambulanaut.com/
^ Blogthing.
Salt Lake City, UT
You're the only troll here, Sandy. I'm just augmentative and an asshole.
http://www.sonnambulanaut.com/
^ Blogthing.
Minnesota
Augmentative? You mean you make us all greater just by being here? Huh... never would have guessed...
The asshole part though... I can totally see that :-)
Find me EVERYWHERE:
Salt Lake City, UT
I only want to drag you down.
http://www.sonnambulanaut.com/
^ Blogthing.
Lehigh Valley, PA
This album is AMAZING
Minnesota
Find me EVERYWHERE:
