Schoolyard Heroes - Fantastic Wounds


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Blaster The Rocket Man


1.Body Shots
2.Panic In The Year Zero
3.Serial Killers Know How To Party
4.Centaur: Half-Man Half-Motorcycle
5.They Live
6.Battlestar Anorexia
7.Nightmare At 20,000 Feet
8.Funeral Parlour Tricks
9.Nothing Cleanses Quite Like Fire
10.The Girl Who Was Born Without A Face

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So Halloween is right around the corner and Schoolyard Heroes could certainly be a great addition to any Halloween party. If the Halloween thing doesn’t do it for you, then this band would be equally as effective on the soundtrack to just about any horror/sci-fi movie. This also includes the B-Horror Movies that are quite awful but yet are loved by many for some strange reason. This is a feeling that could be easily associated with this 4-piece out of the northwest, or the Seattle, WA area if you will. With a vocalist that had musical theatre training in high school and forming a band straight out of high school they already have 2 full-length albums under their collective belts. Schoolyard Heroes are certainly finding themselves heading down the right paths, which for them means a trek through dark woods creeping with spooky, slimy things that go bump in the night.

From the first note of Fantastic Wounds, this album bursts wide open and lets you know from the get-go that there is no sign of slowing down anytime during the next 38 minutes. The first track on the album is "Body Shots" and being the shortest track on the album it gives you a great idea as to the overall tone and energy you are about to experience. In a sense, it’s a trailer for the album. So if you are curious as to what you can expect from these guys (and girl), then you can simply listen to this track. If that opening track simply isn’t enough for you, then the rest of the album should be enough to satisfy your horror rock needs.

With all the raw energy and vocal range that this band carries, one of the problematic elements of this album is that the songs do tend to become lengthy. Songs like these should seem to clock in at right around 2-3 minutes, instead, some of their songs continue on for an average of 4 minutes, and the longest song is just under 6 minutes. Also on this album, some of the songs seem to bleed into one another, this can frustrate the listener, and they can lose track of which song is playing. This is a result of a sound that becomes quite repetitive after a while and before the end of the CD your ears are tuning the sound out.

Something about this band is a train wreck, but in the same fashion as a train wreck you just can’t bring yourself to look away, for fear that you might miss something. However, what you’d miss if you turned away from this band is a fearsome onslaught of shrieks, screams, and raw energy. Clearly this band knows who they are and what they do and they don’t care if you or anyone around really likes it or not. They are claiming their victims one-by-one and counting the fantastic wounds on the bodies as they go.

-Brandon Carter


Last updated: 09/29/2009 08:53PM


The Great North Woods
uhhh... i don't know what to say about this review on a lot of different levels, but at least this band is getting some acknoweldgement. and i think they closer resemble a female-fronted Blood Brothers than any of the bands you listed. but whatever, 3.0 sounds about right.

Darla Farmer
the Beatles
Tom Waits
Murder By Death
A Whisper in the Noise
the Blood Brothers

brent white
the pacific northwest is really representing lately. i really miss home......................
Rick Gebhardt
Age: 34
I used to dig this band, but after listening to them again I'm starting to wonder why... they just do nothing for me any more. If anything, they feel really annoying now.


Yeah I was just going for the horror sound, my bad on the riyl's. I hate that part of the review anyway, but yeah Blood Brothers was one that I should have mentioned and I didn't. So, oh well. I'm over it.
Rick Gebhardt
Age: 34
Yeah I was just going for the horror sound, my bad on the riyl's. I hate that part of the review anyway, but yeah Blood Brothers was one that I should have mentioned and I didn't. So, oh well. I'm over it.

Don't stress, this band doesn't warrant it.