My Chemical Romance - The Black Parade

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RIYL

I Am Ghost
Muse
HIM
Liza Minnelli

Tracklist

1. The End.
2. Dead!
3. This Is How I Disappear
4. The Sharpest Lives
5. Welcome To The Black Parade
6. I Don't Love You
7. House Of Wolves
8. Cancer
9. Mama
10. Sleep
11. Teenagers
12. Disenchanted
13. Famous Last Words

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Fact: Pseudo-arena-glam-AFI-rock – in its natural hyphenated form – is legally the second most homoerotic word in Webster’s Unabridged English dictionary only trailing to Coldplay.

Fiction: My Chemical Romance is the next Queen.

Fact: My Chemical Romance attempted to be the next Queen with their third album, The Black Parade. Released two years after their hugely successful Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge, My Chemical Romance attempt something “new” with this release by name-dropping Queen, Bowie, and Pink Floyd as its inspiration – something so totally pointless because My Chemical Romance’s target audience knows little of the aforementioned artists beyond pop-culture references and maybe Wayne’s World.

Fiction: Mediocre power-pop bands can make epic, thematically, musically and lyrically engaging concept-rock.

Fact: My Chemical Romance attempts this with strategic, manipulative marketing on a target audience who: feels alienated, confused, and misunderstood; shops exclusively at capitalistic faux punk shops; wears exclusively black. Image is necessary; we understand, and we understand that black is the new black. However, hyping something like The Black Parade as classically epic as A Night at the Opera, Tommy, Ziggy Stardust, or The Wall is absurdly offensive. Apparently it didn’t work for The Killers either.

Fiction: I blindly hate this band.

Fact: My Chemical Romance writes wildly solid emo-pop songs, and Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge was an infectious behemoth that I loved immediately no matter how hard I resisted. I even bought the album with hard-earned cash. I still think it’s a great emo-pop record – lyrically, musically, and compositionally. By no means is it an essential record, but for what it was, it was solid.

Fiction: I listened to this album start to finish.

Fact: I took a well-deserved mid-listen break in favor of N.E.R.D.

Fiction: My Chemical Romance really expanded on their sound with The Black Parade.

Fact: My Chemical Romance really half-assed this record. It’s only half of a pseudo-arena-glam-AFI-rock record, and the other half is just standard My Chemical Romance: pseudo-death-pop-AFI-rock. With The Black Parade, they either purposefully and shamefully soil the sounds of Queen and Bowie, or play repetitive, sub-par Three Cheers variances. No matter how you look at it, The Black Parade equates to an uninspired, uncreative, unoriginal album.

Fiction: My Chemical Romance will creatively bounce back from this.

Fact: No song on The Black Parade is memorable beyond an ion after the song finishes. Sure, these are ultimately pop songs and shouldn’t be taken too seriously, but these are disgraceful. This recent trend of aping already perfected concept albums is getting regoddamndiculous. There are approximately 1.58 million unused concepts waiting to be endured by artists – pick one that hasn’t already been made.

Fiction: “Teenagers” is the best song I’ve heard since that one song about Myspace.

Fact:“Sticking feathers up your but does not make you a chicken,” says Chuck Palahniuk.

Fiction: Pseudo-arena-glam-AFI-rock is the new black along with old black.

Fact: I couldn’t wait for this album to end.

--Kamran Rouzpay

Author

Kamran
Last updated: 09/29/2009 08:54PM

Comments

LiquidHeaven
10/24/2006
08:41AM
Location
SL, UT
That was a poorly written review. Bad style.

But one thing is this "My Chemical Romance’s target audience knows little of the aforementioned artists beyond pop-culture references and maybe Wayne’s World."

I guess what you are getting at is that the target audience is 13-16 year old kids? Is that what you're saying? If you did a little research before you wrote this you would know that radio stations playing hits from the 60s and 70s are the fastest growing in the country. Oh and guess what else, guess who is listening to those stations? kids right around that age! Kids that age know quite a bit about Pink Floyd, Queen, Bowie, The Doors, etc...

Mama, Teenagers, House of Wolves are fantastic tracks. This is 70s arena rock. Like it or not they did not fail to reach what they were reaching for.

Trollin' with my homies.

Chris Conlan
10/24/2006
08:52AM
Age: 27
Location
Dubuque
I'm definitely not liking this much as Three Cheers, I didn't think it was THAT bad. Why even review this Kamran? It would be like me reviewing Isis.

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thebeefies
10/24/2006
09:04AM
Location
Lookin' out your backdoor
I say Decoy needs someone to give this a more unbiased review. I mean were not talking 4 or 5 out of 5, but this album deserves a solid 3. I hate the scene just as much as the next guy, but that doesn't mean by default I have to hate this album.
Chris Conlan
10/24/2006
09:07AM
Age: 27
Location
Dubuque
Well I know a person who would review it, but I doubt a second review will happen.

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Brodude
10/24/2006
09:11AM
Age: 31
Location
Toronto, Ontario
LiquidHeaven
That was a poorly written review. Bad style.

But one thing is this "My Chemical Romance’s target audience knows little of the aforementioned artists beyond pop-culture references and maybe Wayne’s World."

I guess what you are getting at is that the target audience is 13-16 year old kids? Is that what you're saying? If you did a little research before you wrote this you would know that radio stations playing hits from the 60s and 70s are the fastest growing in the country. Oh and guess what else, guess who is listening to those stations? kids right around that age! Kids that age know quite a bit about Pink Floyd, Queen, Bowie, The Doors, etc...

Mama, Teenagers, House of Wolves are fantastic tracks. This is 70s arena rock. Like it or not they did not fail to reach what they were reaching for.


You must be fucking joking, any kid listening to Floyd or Queen is most definitly not listening to this bullshit record. These pretentious bag of dicks have never come close to writing a decent song. Its a sick world out there for a band like this to be so popular. This band gives me so much animosity, I will punch anyone I see listening to it in the crotch until they pass out.
Chris Conlan
10/24/2006
09:13AM
Age: 27
Location
Dubuque
I'm listening to it right now.

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Aaron Yarborough
10/24/2006
09:24AM
Age: 30
Location
Atascadero, CA
hmmm.. considering how much praise this bands' last album got on here (before they blew up) it came in as one of the best albums of the year that year for a lot of people here so I dont totally see how they dropped off so hard since then. it seems like this review wants to go bash the fanbase and the band now that it's the "cool" thing to do. I havent heard this album myself but I doubt it's really that bad especially considering how adored the last album was. lets review the music non-biased and forget about the kiddies, we're reviewing the music and how enjoyable its supposed to be. It could be noted it was more "written" for appeal to a wide fanbase or whatever but hearing the first single which I find not great but far from poor the rest of the album must be better than a 1 1/2star.

Decoymusic.com (CEO/Founder)
Blue Reef Design Studios (Web Development)
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jeff the baptist
10/24/2006
09:41AM
yeah i second everything aaron said.
ctsdrums
10/24/2006
09:46AM
you can't blame My Chemical Romance for trying. but it does seem that every band wants to make the next big epic rock record. saying it can't be done and that no one will top "Tommy" or what have you is short sighted. there ARE great bands out there, every bit as good as your precious Zepplin, Who, Queen, Yes, Rush etc. etc. etc.

maybe My Chemical Romance should just relax and play music, i agree.
joshuamark
10/24/2006
10:09AM
pink floyd > every other band.
eat my chode.
HEARTandSYNAPSE
10/24/2006
10:35AM
Location
Manchester, England
This review doesn't do this record justice at all.
And I don't mean in the sense that it's given a 2 star review to a 5 star album, far from it. I mean that the review doesn't actually critique the musicat all, it just basically slams them for trying and insults the bands fans. and im no MCR fan, but this album deserves more than this.
I agree The Black Parade isn't going to make MCR go down in history, but on the other hand, dismissing it altogether in this manner is just ignorant.

Aaron Yarborough
10/24/2006
10:54AM
Age: 30
Location
Atascadero, CA
after 2 listens this is a fairly average album.. id say in my opinion I would give it a 3 out of 5.. not terrible but nothing I'd listen to over and over.

Decoymusic.com (CEO/Founder)
Blue Reef Design Studios (Web Development)
http://aarontroy.tumblr.com

glhxckid
10/24/2006
11:06AM
Location
Troy, Michigan
Horrible band, but still better than Aiden and On the Last Day. I think the scores about right.
djc666
10/24/2006
11:15AM
Location
San antonio, Texas
I didnt like this new one at all....i mean its way better than aiden or on the last day..but thats not saying much..but this one was not that great...I really dont care what there fanbase consists of, i could care less.....They do some decent things on this record but as a whole it doesnt do justice for me...but wat do i know....i like the new IDT, i am ghost, and the new AFI...and i fucking hate hot topic....so i guess im an idiot

Kamran
10/24/2006
12:06PM
Location
The Great North Woods
to clarify: i loved - i repeat - loved three cheers, and think i brought you my bullets is very solid, and i found this album near unlistenable, so it's not that i'm biased against the genre or the band. i think they just wasted a lot of potential on this one.

Darla Farmer
RIYL:
the Beatles
Tom Waits
Murder By Death
A Whisper in the Noise
the Blood Brothers

bitterhalo
10/24/2006
12:08PM
i don't see how you can love three cheers and give this one such a horrible score and review. i really can't hear that much of a departure from 3 cheers. it's like all of these songs could've been on the previous album too. at least this one should be somewhat listenable. but that's just my opinion.
Roncag
10/24/2006
12:36PM
Age: 32
Location
Anytown USA
I reviewed 3 Cheers for Decoy and gave it a 4. I really loved it. But I find this album absolutely disgusting. I did not find one redeaming track and I was actually really looking forward to this album no matter how big and pompous the band has gotten. The score is generous, I did not like a single song.

You play to win the game.

HEARTandSYNAPSE
10/24/2006
12:50PM
Location
Manchester, England
Roncag
I reviewed 3 Cheers for Decoy and gave it a 4. I really loved it. But I find this album absolutely disgusting. I did not find one redeaming track and I was actually really looking forward to this album no matter how big and pompous the band has gotten. The score is generous, I did not like a single song.


Well, that being said, the review didn't really say what was wrong with the songs on the album. I wouldn't agree with, but I'd appreciate more a review that actually reviewed THE ALBUM, and wasn't mainly an essay on hype surrounding the album, the fanbase and how concept albums are done to death.

AndyY9587
10/24/2006
12:51PM
Age: 25
Location
Cincinnati, OH
I also loved 3 cheers, but man i was so dissapointed with this. Its hard to listen to the whole way through

I Am Mick
10/24/2006
01:02PM
Location
Pittsburgh
I laughed at this review, I liked it.
I liked three cheers for a little, then it got pretty annoying
I STILL love I Brought You My Bullets...
I couldn't get passed the third song on this cd

www.myspace.com/mickmalonewrites

Firebrand
10/24/2006
01:07PM
Brodude
You must be fucking joking, any kid listening to Floyd or Queen is most definitly not listening to this bullshit record. These pretentious bag of dicks have never come close to writing a decent song. Its a sick world out there for a band like this to be so popular. This band gives me so much animosity, I will punch anyone I see listening to it in the crotch until they pass out.


um, i listen to all three--know all the words to mostt of queen and old my chmical romance and a littlefloyd. I know most Credence Clearwater Revival songs, plus Marley, Hendrix, the Turtles, the Clash, Bad Brains, Minor Threat. Maybe im an exception, but i still listen to and know all that stuff and at least somewhat like "this bullshit record."
HEARTandSYNAPSE
10/24/2006
01:13PM
Location
Manchester, England
Brodude
You must be fucking joking, any kid listening to Floyd or Queen is most definitly not listening to this bullshit record. These pretentious bag of dicks have never come close to writing a decent song. Its a sick world out there for a band like this to be so popular. This band gives me so much animosity, I will punch anyone I see listening to it in the crotch until they pass out.


you sir, are a fucking idiot.

LiquidHeaven
10/24/2006
01:37PM
Location
SL, UT
^I 2nd that and my cock 3rd and 4ths it.

The band has moved away from some of that edginess and experimentation in favor of a bigger, though less commercially exceptable sound than the sound they favored on 3 Cheers. Some of these arena rockers sound like people 30+ are going to prefer it. That's a chance, the band took a chance. They went with a sound that used to be popular. They're bringing it back and in a big fucking way. The guitars sound awesome on this record.

I'm only going to use Thrice as an example because they kind of both hit at the same time but Thrice has really tried to experiment with their sound and I'd say they've missed the mark more than they've hit it. MCR is doing all the right things. Growing leaps and bounds and quite possibly may be around for a long time. So get used to it.

Trollin' with my homies.

LiquidHeaven
10/24/2006
01:39PM
Location
SL, UT
BTW I think Aaron did a good job or saying what needed to be said.

The review was not even an album review. Jokey reviews like that are just a waste of time and space. Better suited for your high school rag than a music website.

Trollin' with my homies.

Dante
10/24/2006
02:23PM
Age: 22
Location
Fort Bragg, CA
I wouldn't say it's 1 1/2 stars bad, but to each his own. I gave it a 2 1/2 because it has some damn goood songs, but it lacks in alot of ways.