My Chemical Romance - The Black Parade
Rating
RIYL
I Am GhostMuse
HIM
Liza Minnelli
Tracklist
1. The End.2. Dead!
3. This Is How I Disappear
4. The Sharpest Lives
5. Welcome To The Black Parade
6. I Don't Love You
7. House Of Wolves
8. Cancer
9. Mama
10. Sleep
11. Teenagers
12. Disenchanted
13. Famous Last Words
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Fact: Pseudo-arena-glam-AFI-rock – in its natural hyphenated form – is legally the second most homoerotic word in Webster’s Unabridged English dictionary only trailing to Coldplay.
Fiction: My Chemical Romance is the next Queen.
Fact: My Chemical Romance attempted to be the next Queen with their third album, The Black Parade. Released two years after their hugely successful Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge, My Chemical Romance attempt something “new” with this release by name-dropping Queen, Bowie, and Pink Floyd as its inspiration – something so totally pointless because My Chemical Romance’s target audience knows little of the aforementioned artists beyond pop-culture references and maybe Wayne’s World.
Fiction: Mediocre power-pop bands can make epic, thematically, musically and lyrically engaging concept-rock.
Fact: My Chemical Romance attempts this with strategic, manipulative marketing on a target audience who: feels alienated, confused, and misunderstood; shops exclusively at capitalistic faux punk shops; wears exclusively black. Image is necessary; we understand, and we understand that black is the new black. However, hyping something like The Black Parade as classically epic as A Night at the Opera, Tommy, Ziggy Stardust, or The Wall is absurdly offensive. Apparently it didn’t work for The Killers either.
Fiction: I blindly hate this band.
Fact: My Chemical Romance writes wildly solid emo-pop songs, and Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge was an infectious behemoth that I loved immediately no matter how hard I resisted. I even bought the album with hard-earned cash. I still think it’s a great emo-pop record – lyrically, musically, and compositionally. By no means is it an essential record, but for what it was, it was solid.
Fiction: I listened to this album start to finish.
Fact: I took a well-deserved mid-listen break in favor of N.E.R.D.
Fiction: My Chemical Romance really expanded on their sound with The Black Parade.
Fact: My Chemical Romance really half-assed this record. It’s only half of a pseudo-arena-glam-AFI-rock record, and the other half is just standard My Chemical Romance: pseudo-death-pop-AFI-rock. With The Black Parade, they either purposefully and shamefully soil the sounds of Queen and Bowie, or play repetitive, sub-par Three Cheers variances. No matter how you look at it, The Black Parade equates to an uninspired, uncreative, unoriginal album.
Fiction: My Chemical Romance will creatively bounce back from this.
Fact: No song on The Black Parade is memorable beyond an ion after the song finishes. Sure, these are ultimately pop songs and shouldn’t be taken too seriously, but these are disgraceful. This recent trend of aping already perfected concept albums is getting regoddamndiculous. There are approximately 1.58 million unused concepts waiting to be endured by artists – pick one that hasn’t already been made.
Fiction: “Teenagers” is the best song I’ve heard since that one song about Myspace.
Fact:“Sticking feathers up your but does not make you a chicken,” says Chuck Palahniuk.
Fiction: Pseudo-arena-glam-AFI-rock is the new black along with old black.
Fact: I couldn’t wait for this album to end.
--Kamran Rouzpay

Comments
SL, UT
But one thing is this "My Chemical Romance’s target audience knows little of the aforementioned artists beyond pop-culture references and maybe Wayne’s World."
I guess what you are getting at is that the target audience is 13-16 year old kids? Is that what you're saying? If you did a little research before you wrote this you would know that radio stations playing hits from the 60s and 70s are the fastest growing in the country. Oh and guess what else, guess who is listening to those stations? kids right around that age! Kids that age know quite a bit about Pink Floyd, Queen, Bowie, The Doors, etc...
Mama, Teenagers, House of Wolves are fantastic tracks. This is 70s arena rock. Like it or not they did not fail to reach what they were reaching for.
Trollin' with my homies.
Dubuque
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Lookin' out your backdoor
Dubuque
Facebook / MySpace
View Chris Conlan's profile on LinkedIn
Toronto, Ontario
You must be fucking joking, any kid listening to Floyd or Queen is most definitly not listening to this bullshit record. These pretentious bag of dicks have never come close to writing a decent song. Its a sick world out there for a band like this to be so popular. This band gives me so much animosity, I will punch anyone I see listening to it in the crotch until they pass out.
Dubuque
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View Chris Conlan's profile on LinkedIn
Atascadero, CA
Decoymusic.com (CEO/Founder)
Blue Reef Design Studios (Web Development)
http://aarontroy.tumblr.com
maybe My Chemical Romance should just relax and play music, i agree.
eat my chode.
Manchester, England
And I don't mean in the sense that it's given a 2 star review to a 5 star album, far from it. I mean that the review doesn't actually critique the musicat all, it just basically slams them for trying and insults the bands fans. and im no MCR fan, but this album deserves more than this.
I agree The Black Parade isn't going to make MCR go down in history, but on the other hand, dismissing it altogether in this manner is just ignorant.
Atascadero, CA
Decoymusic.com (CEO/Founder)
Blue Reef Design Studios (Web Development)
http://aarontroy.tumblr.com
Troy, Michigan
San antonio, Texas
The Great North Woods
Darla Farmer
RIYL:
the Beatles
Tom Waits
Murder By Death
A Whisper in the Noise
the Blood Brothers
Anytown USA
You play to win the game.
Manchester, England
Well, that being said, the review didn't really say what was wrong with the songs on the album. I wouldn't agree with, but I'd appreciate more a review that actually reviewed THE ALBUM, and wasn't mainly an essay on hype surrounding the album, the fanbase and how concept albums are done to death.
Cincinnati, OH
Pittsburgh
I liked three cheers for a little, then it got pretty annoying
I STILL love I Brought You My Bullets...
I couldn't get passed the third song on this cd
www.myspace.com/mickmalonewrites
um, i listen to all three--know all the words to mostt of queen and old my chmical romance and a littlefloyd. I know most Credence Clearwater Revival songs, plus Marley, Hendrix, the Turtles, the Clash, Bad Brains, Minor Threat. Maybe im an exception, but i still listen to and know all that stuff and at least somewhat like "this bullshit record."
Manchester, England
you sir, are a fucking idiot.
SL, UT
The band has moved away from some of that edginess and experimentation in favor of a bigger, though less commercially exceptable sound than the sound they favored on 3 Cheers. Some of these arena rockers sound like people 30+ are going to prefer it. That's a chance, the band took a chance. They went with a sound that used to be popular. They're bringing it back and in a big fucking way. The guitars sound awesome on this record.
I'm only going to use Thrice as an example because they kind of both hit at the same time but Thrice has really tried to experiment with their sound and I'd say they've missed the mark more than they've hit it. MCR is doing all the right things. Growing leaps and bounds and quite possibly may be around for a long time. So get used to it.
Trollin' with my homies.
SL, UT
The review was not even an album review. Jokey reviews like that are just a waste of time and space. Better suited for your high school rag than a music website.
Trollin' with my homies.
Fort Bragg, CA