Forever the Sickest Kids - Television Off, Party On
Rating
RIYL
Motion City SoundtrackHouston Calls
Fall Out Boy
All Time Low
Tracklist
1. Believe Me I'm Lying2. She's A Lady
3. Breakdown
4. Becky Starz
5. I Don't Know About You, But I Came to Dance
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Forever the Sickest Kids think you are completely fucking stupid and obviously have no problem letting you know it. The buzz band’s latest EP, Television Off, Party On, is nothing more than an eighteen minute nudge and wink of an album that is sure to make countless effeminate teenage boys’ panties wet with angsty ejaculation. However, not to be outdone will be the slightly less effeminate female demographic which will surely flock to the Warped Tour barricades on the off-chance of getting close enough to see these six scenesters redefine the term “low-rise.” Nevertheless, this sextet of neon clad pretty boys are about to be filthy rich, thanks to a lucrative deal with mega label Universal Records – one that will surely secure the band’s role as heir apparent to the Fall Out Boy MTV throne. And getting rich is what it’s all about right?
Hope so, because if it isn’t, FTSK is going to be downright screwed. Not even accounting for the foreign concepts of creativity and substance, FTSK is going to have a difficult time explaining this EP in a few years when their fanbase has gotten old enough to identify gross juvenilia and/or backhanded lyricism. The most apparent insult or erratum in this rather short EP has to be the step-by-step instruction manual contained within the fourth track, aptly titled “Breakdown.” And yes, they mean that type of breakdown. Obviously the band is aware of their demographic’s youthful ignorance, as this track alone features each and every power-pop cliché that can possibly be infused into one 3:34 block. Lines such as “when your heart beats higher and shadows fall more gently” and “I would rather me leave than stay and watch you make a fool of me,” just reek of Chris Carrabba’s guy-liner soaked pillows (quite possibly the only things more oversaturated than this musical genre). However, the real slap to the face is the über-corny, paint-by-numbers chorus that, at its worst, features an accompanying preschool breakdown – you know the kind that gives all the mallrats the misguidance to dub themselves “s0 hardc0re dud3rz.” At least these smug bastards made sure to give their listeners ample warning that that devastating breakdown was coming; otherwise, these poor fellows might be spending that big ol’ signing bonus on court costs!
Don’t be fooled into thinking that this track is merely a singular, piss-poor attempt to be clever; it is this type of pseudo-hip, high school babble that has given Universal such a massive hard-on for these guys. Each song is rife with adolescent melancholy and enough mildly danceable instrumentation to replace the heartbreak Häagen-Dazs. However, the fact still remains: if you’re enjoying this, you’ve probably got a few more years of that cute boy breaking up with you for the skinnier girl and guys, no, your hair will never look as scene as Alex Davies’ (love ya buddy!). As far as the actual musicianship goes, outside of the occasionally fun, albeit awkward, keyboard excursions, this album does absolutely nothing that wasn’t done on Take This To Your Grave back in 2003. Even the aforementioned keyboard / synth / moog / electronic drum / whateverthefuckitis accompaniment was done much better by Panic! At the Disco last year, and Motion City Soundtrack has been evangelizing this shit for years. But fuck, what does that really matter? The singer has your standard histrionic power-pop voice, a perpetual broken heart, and these guys are “s0 effin’ hawt.” CHA-CHING!
All of that said, keeping your foot from tapping along will be next to impossible, unless you can manage to strap that sucker down with your retired white belt. These six young men accomplish just what they set out to do by making a short EP of fun, tear-drenched emopop; however, they don’t do it any better or any more creatively than most of their peers. Therefore, I’d have to recommend that you just file these guys amongst that stack of derivative power-pop you’ll be selling back to your local record store in just a few years. Remember that when the prick behind the counter starts making fun of you for having owned such garbage, blame your embarrassed grimace on yourself, not Forever the Sickest Kids; at least they tried to be honest with you about their musical integrity (just look at the title to the first track).
--Jayme Barkdoll
Comments
Minnesota
Find me EVERYWHERE:
none would be just fine.
Manchester, England
having said that, i love this EP too.
it's pretty much a concrete example of 'the alex genre'.
Fishers, Indiana
Top Albums: 2011 | 2010 | 2009 || Tumblr | Twitter
at what age you should drop out of THIS scene behaviour?
20?
23?
30?
never, becuse it's real d00D!
Tuscaloosa, AL
haha, awesome. well, just for everyone else, this was not meant as a slam to Alex. That dude knows why he loves what he loves, and no one can logically shit on him for that. If only the rest of the scene kids were as self-aware and musically intelligent...
Manchester, England
i dont really see the need in me 'dropping out of the scene' at almost 21.
i wear what i enjoy wearing and it gets me attractive girls.
OWNT!
Tuscaloosa, AL
love you too josh.
Pittsburgh
these dudes do write some outrageously catchy songs though, it's hard not to sing along
www.myspace.com/mickmalonewrites
Vero Beach
oh, there are many. you just have no fucking idea what you're talking about.