eatmewhileimhot! - xALBUMx Review

eatmewhileimhot! - xALBUMx

Rating

RIYL

immature metalcore
jokes that aren't funny
terrible music

Release Date

07/27/2010

Label

Loveway Records

Tracklist

1. xDESTROYx
2. xSMWHOREx
3. xPIZZAx
4. xGRIZZLYx
5. xBICYCLEx
6. xVAMPIRESx
7. xMUSTACHEx
8. xBURRITOx

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Graydon Schwartz [photographer]	Nicholas
cloudscollide	Mike Duchnowsky
rustycage

EATMEWHILEIMHOT! sums themselves up on their myspace as “a joke that only we are in on.” Their new album proves this statement because I didn't laugh once. xALBUMx is just another joke album in the metalcore genre, but that's exactly what it's supposed to be. This album probably should have went straight to myspace because it's definitely going to make some ears bleed.

The album opens with “xDESTROYx” which is nothing but a drowning breakdown fest accompanied by the horrific screams of Christofer Drew. The talent is lacking from the band right off the back with absolutely no creativity involved in making the song. “xSMWHOREx” is a minute and a half breakdown with plenty of pig squeals and gang vocals. “xPIZZAx” is the first song with clean vocals on the album, but they are terrible. Drew's vocals usually sound pretty good when he's with Nevershoutnever!, but the vocals in this song just make your ears bleed. “xGRIZZLYx” is just a breakdown with Drew screaming “grizzly” over and over. “xBICYCLEx” is an instrumental with some pretty creative bass slapping, but it doesn't really fit in with the album at all. “xVAMPIREx” is a comical take on the current vampire craze, but even Twilight is better than this. “xMUSTACHEx” is another giant breakdown with some lyrics about.... mustaches. The band saves the worst for last with “xBURRITOx”, the worst minute and 29 second breakdown that has ever been conceived.

EATMEWHILEIMHOT!, please keep your jokes to yourselves. My ears will thank you. Move over Attack Attack!, I think we have a new worst album of the year.

--Dylan Newell

Author

Dylan Newell

Last updated: 08/13/2010 06:08AM

Comments

Jeremy Deal

08/13/2010

09:31AM

Age: 32

But what I wanna know is - does this album have breakdowns????

"These are our lives, but did they ever even matter - are we worth remembering?"
- "Tip The Scales"
Rise Against

Rick Gebhardt

08/13/2010

10:14AM

Age: 30

Location
Minnesota

Find me EVERYWHERE:

rustycage

08/13/2010

05:51PM

I don't need to listen to this album to rate its mediocrity.

Mike Duchnowsky

08/14/2010

11:17AM

Age: 27

Location
West Haven, CT

This CD is EPIC! wowzer!

The Cityscape Burns Brighter By The Hour.

Josh Hofer

08/14/2010

11:59AM

Age: 27

Location
Raleigh, NC

I am going to listen to this just because it got HALF A STAR.

josh.hofer
corruptedlens.net
twitter.com/josh_hofer
flickr.com/corruptedlens
about.me/josh.hofer

Mike Duchnowsky

08/14/2010

09:29PM

Age: 27

Location
West Haven, CT

I can see this making my number one of 2010. Hopefully this makes the staff top 3. It's just that life changing.

The Cityscape Burns Brighter By The Hour.

Dylan Newell

08/15/2010

12:24AM

Age: 22

Location
Illinois

hahahaha

last.fm/user/tragedyl0ve
twitter.com/1000cleverlines
1000cleverlines.tumblr.com

Mike Duchnowsky

08/15/2010

05:06PM

Age: 27

Location
West Haven, CT

Does anyone know the lyrics to track seven? I wanna get a line from that track tattooed. When he starts talking about, "Then the fire snuck into your bedroom Now I'm falling asleep to forget you" Whatever he says after that the darkly dark part. I'm getting that tattooed.

The Cityscape Burns Brighter By The Hour.