Brokencyde - I'm Not a Fan.. But the Kids Like It!
Rating
RIYL
TortureRelease Date
06/16/2009
Label
BreakSilence RecordingsTracklist
1. "Intro" – 0:402. "Freaxxx" – 3:35
3. "Skeet Skeet" – 3:57
4. "Late Nite Call" – 0:43
5. "Booty Call" – 3:24
6. "Get Crunk!" – 4:23
7. "Yellow Bus" – 3:22
8. "Get Up" – 3:48
9. "Jealousy" – 3:33
10. "Poppin'" – 3:20
11. "40 OZ" – 4:29
12. "Sex Toys" – 2:57
13. "Rockstar" – 4:05
14. "Schitzo" – 4:08
15. "Scene Girls" – 3:43
16. "Tipsy" – 4:57
17. "I'm Sorry" – 7:44
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Let’s be honest right from the start. Brokencyde don’t make music. They make sounds, mush them together with other sounds that have no relation to each other, then scream or talk over the top pretending that they’re somehow creating a new trailblazing form of music. Don't be fooled, it’s not music. In a year’s time people will look back on this group of tools and the whole “crunk” genre and realize it was a terrible, horrendous fad that should simply be forgotten and never revisited. Since anyone older than 15 and possessing an IQ of at least a few points will recognize how much of an abomination Brokencyde is, the rest of this review is geared towards the few people who may be intrigued by this fugly foursome of fuck-up-ery.
In case you are thinking of listening to Brokencyde or (please God no…) buying I’m Not a Fan… But the Kids Like It!, please look over the list of things below. All of these things are better than Brokencyde. Seriously, all of these things are better for you than listening to Brokencyde.
--Brokencyde is worse than dipping your testicles in battery acid while having an appendectomy without anesthesia.
--Brokencyde is worse than being trapped naked in a pine box with 5 rabid ferrets that have not eaten for days.
--Brokencyde is worse than having your anus surgically sown shut then being forced to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner at Taco Bell.
--Brokencyde is worse than learning you are adopted… then finding out your biological parents are Carrot Top and Roseanne Arnold… then getting shot in the face.
--Brokencyde is worse than being in a straightjacket while you are intravenously injected with Red Bull and Coke (the kind you snort, not the kind you drink) for 24 hours… and then getting thrown in front of a bus.
--Brokencyde is worse than eating cat shit, throwing it up, and re-eating said vomit, but spiced up with some old man diarrhea splatter... then getting thrown under a lawn mower.
--Brokencyde is worse than being tied to a couch forced to watch Battlefield Earth repeatedly while dogs piss on you… and then getting lit on fire.
--Brokencyde is worse than simultaneously contracting every STD currently known to man… then getting trampled to death by an angry rhino a year later.
--Brokencyde is worse than Hurt.
--Rick Gebhardt
Comments
Toronto
hahahahah the RIYL is awesome
Raleigh, NC
--Brokencyde is worse than having Method Man and Raekwon decide your various methods of torture.
Lehigh Valley, PA
"I'll sew your asshole shut and keep feedin' you and feedin' you and feedin' you"
New York
Having Rick review this album was the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Cold Showers for Stereology
http://coldshowersforstereology.blogspot.com/
Hey Rick, I think you owe Buddyhead an author credit for this one. Looks an awful lot like their Weezer review from 2005.
Minnesota
I checked Buddyhead.com and don't see any reviews for Weezer... I have no idea what you're referring to.
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Atascadero, CA
Thought I got something good in the PO BOX today, nope.. it was this cd. Who wants it?
Decoymusic.com (CEO/Founder)
Blue Reef Design Studios (Web Development)
http://aarontroy.tumblr.com
http://www.buddyhead.com/buddyheads-best-and-worst-records-of-2005/
All in good fun.
Minnesota
Hahahaha, that list is fucking hilarious... but not as hilarious as this album. Zing!
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Minnesota
BreakSilence sent me TWO copies of it. Fuck. Do they hate me that much? What did I ever do to them?
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Lehigh Valley, PA
What is the possibility of us sending this to Brokencyde in a week or so after everyone got their comments out of their system?
Minnesota
Hopefully some dumbfuck of a fan stumbles across this review and sends it to their legion of douchebags. Then we can expect some awesome commenting.
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Lakewood, OH
I love that you used the shittiest possible resolution album art for this review.
And that you replaced all the track names with silly titles.
Oh, wait. Those are the actual track names.
Also, is track 17 really named "I'm Sorry"?
I'll give them a half star for at least apologizing.
http://www.last.fm/user/nicklovesohio
Fishers, Indiana
What an amazing record. This could beat out Paramore for album of the year.
edit: hahaha I gave it 5 stars and my vote bumped the score from .5 to 1. ouch.
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Infinitely Inwards
like, totally, 3rd best album of all time or something...hahaha lol OMG!!!
Ever Forthright - Ever Forthright
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Aborted - Global Flatline
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San Borja, Lima, Perú
What a great reason to name the last track that way, now all makes sense.
West Haven, CT
Great review.
The Cityscape Burns Brighter By The Hour.
Toronto, Ontario
Review and thread need sending. I have never ever ever ever ever listened to this band, but there is no doubt in my mind that I would enjoy them at all.
"Use short sentences. Use short first paragraphs. Use vigorous English. Be positive, not negative."
MySpace / Facebook
nice ending.
Minnesota
Thanks. I was hoping someone would like it.
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Green Brook, NJ
i like 'brokencyde is worse than hurt' the best. it's so true.
Somewhere in New York
I know this sounds weird, but I'll totally take it. I'll give it to my kids when I'm older as a form of punishment...
"If someone gives you a kazoo and toots around the house to MTV, they're not gonna fuck you." - David Cross