Austrian Death Machine - Jingle All the Way
Rating
RIYL
Jingle All the WayJunior
Twins
As I Lay Dying
Release Date
12/19/2011
Label
Metal BladeTracklist
1. I'm Not a Pervert2. It's Turbo Time
3. Who Told You You Could Eat My Cookies?
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Though the holiday season is now behind us, some things remain—presents, memories, good cheer, bad cheer, empty wallets, ten extra pounds… and another inexplicable chapter in the albatross that is Austrian Death Machine’s existence, this time in the form of a second Christmas EP. Or one that loosely pretends to have overtures to Christmas, mainly in the form of Santa-tangent “Who Told You You Could Eat My Cookies?” and the title of the effort, named after the 1997 Arnold Schwarzenegger film. But “Cookies” revolves more around a jab at deathcore vocalists, making the disc even more “scene-centric” than previous outings, though this appears to be the only audience Tim Lambesis has in mind.
That said, any discerning listener of metalcore should have already written this novelty off four years ago. In that vacuum steps the kind of kid that you might see at a Five Finger Death Punch concert. Not promising. So the downright atrocious Arnold impersonations, second-grade lyrics, and cartoonish whole have found their home opening for Throwdown, but where does that leave the actual bones of the EP, the instrumentals?
Aside from the shoddy excuse for humor, what Lambesis does have in his favor is the fact that he has As I Lay Dying credentials in spades and has presumably used them to pull in the talent that comprises his backing band while he howls about some overly obvious Schwarzenegger references. So, if you were to cull the ripping metalcore underneath all of the bullshit, you’d have a solid, if run-of-the-mill and very short, EP, and one that stands as a victim of the As I Lay Dying legacy to boot.
Therefore, ladies and germs, it would behoove you to route your attentions to other, non-novelty acts, and give them the support they are due for making music of some kind of substance. Hell, go spin Frail Words Collapse. You’re basically getting the same thing without having to wade through the detritus of ham-fisted “comedy.”
--Jacob Oliver
Comments
Ada, Ohio
I didn't hate this as much as you, but aside from the initial laugh of rehearing Jingle All the Way references, there wasn't much to enjoy after one listen.
If Lambesis says this will be back, we should tell him "no".
Reno, NV
We should tell him to "Get to the choppa" and fly far, far away.
http://buckybloggy.blogspot.com/