The Oval Portrait
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In 1909 Hamilton Albert Fish told Mr. and Mrs. Budd that his niece was having a birthday party and their 12 year old daughter Grace was invited. Once off the train, he led Grace to a secluded farm house called "Wisteria". There he stripped naked and called Grace upstairs where he murdered her and dismembered her body, taking large gulps of her blood while doing so. He then spent the next few days eating the young girl and compulsively masturbating. In 1957 The Plainfield, Wisconsin police finally broke into the house and barn of Ed Gein and found furniture upholstered with human skin, a box full of women's vaginas (one of which was painted silver, nailed to a wooden board and had a ribbon tied around it), eating bowls made from the tops of human skulls, and the headless, gutted body of Bernice Worden hanging from the cieling like a game animal. Almost 20 years later, Chicago police found the bodies of 22 men in various stages of decomposition under the floor board of local party clown John wayne "Pogo" Gacy's house. in 1995 Alex Saavedra formed Eyeball Records. Then, 8 years later, New Jersey's The Oval Portrait recorded their debut album "Life In Death", an album that the band had spent the previous 3 years writing. The process of making the album included many "unconventional" methods of recording, including whippings, nudity, random kidnappings, poisoning of band members, snuff films broadcast on TV screens in the studio. By the end of the process, 3 people were dead and all the band members were registered sex offenders... Months later, Eyeball Executives Saavedra and the mysterious "Count Doobiak", struggled with the decision of whether or not to burn the master copies of the album and never speak of the oval portrait again, or let the band go out on the road and spread their noise like sodium cyanid and sulphuric acid vapors spreading thru a gas chamber.. After much delibiration and several meetings with the band (which almost always ended with the band being ejected from the Eyeball office for making wildly inappropriate comments on subjects ranging from methods of cooking Interns' genitals to the United Nations), Saavedra and Doobiak realized that the master copies, which were hidden in a chamber deep in the annals of the Eyeball compound, had been replaced with the liver of a Phillipino woman and had in fact made their way to the outside world. They now had no choice but to release the album... Like Saint Lucifer being cast out of heaven, The EB staff tries to get the album out of the office as soon as new shipments come in.. "Whenever copies of it [Life In Death] have been around for more than a few days, employees start to complain about feeling really sick, sometimes their hair starts to fall out, a couple of people were diagnosed with leperocy. One time we even had to call an exorcist when the plant sent us like 12 new boxes of the album, you know, just to be safe...that man gave his life to try and save the rest of us.." The album is now in stores and spreading rock and roll across the globe. Rock and roll the way it is meant to be. The Devil's music. May god forgive the Eyeball Staff's souls.
